Writings
I am an Introvert » Thu, Mar 8th 2007 3:19 pm
And this stranger describes me very well: http://
It’s rare that I post links to other articles, but this one’s just so great. He’s saying things I’ve never had the gall to write here for fear that my “orientation”, as he’s dubbed it, was instead a character flaw that required the aid of trained professionals to correct.
That said, there’s more going on with me than all of this. I still acknowledge that I’m overly anxious about certain things, but reading this man’s essay made me feel a lot better about myself, as he reassures me that I’m not alone and, more importantly, not necessarily “broken”.
Ah, it feels good to be understood. Though I don’t know that it’s going to change anything, it still feels good to have someone defending my bizarre behaviour, and with a great deal of eloquence at that.
1 Sean on Fri, Mar 9th 2007 4:19 pm
Don’t make this a reason to abandon self-improvement. I think being an introvert is more than just saying “this is how I am, deal with it.” I think being more socially outgoing is always beneficial, not only to make friends but to be as happy as you can be. Most introverts find themselves defending how they live their lives and then also find themselves often depressed. Putting some effort to work outside your own boundaries might make you a lot happier and it only takes some effort.
2 Aaron on Fri, Mar 9th 2007 4:46 pm
I don’t intend to give up on my whole “self repair” thing because of this. But it was nice to see that people live like me (though probably without the burden of so much anxiety) and manage to function in society. I’ll still go to parties, but I won’t think there’s something wrong with me when I don’t want to go out the night after to yet another party. Heh. I do like my “me time” very much (though there’s definitely been way too much of it lately) and I’ll never give it up. I’m pretty sure I’ll always try to solve my own emotional issues on my own, too. Or at least, I’ll always want to have a got at it myself before asking for someone else’s help on it. Could cause relationship troubles (durh) but I’m sure someone out there will be accepting of that so long as I can show appreciation for everything else they do (or try to do) for me.
3 Paul D on Tue, Mar 20th 2007 12:28 pm
I like how the guy says “Don’t call me arrogant… but I’m smarter, more emotionally intelligent, and all around better than you”. Dick. There were times, and there still are times, when I feel like an introvert. My mom likes to relay the story of how one summer, I didn’t call a single friend, because I was happy being on my own the whole time. Now, I don’t think that this story is actually true, but it gets the point across. I’m not so much like that now, but I can see where people are coming from. And I think in general, it’s good to get out of comfort zones (easy to say, hard to do). This doesn’t mean that you should stay out all night, or do drugs or whatever, but making the odd trip to visit friends overnight or whatever could be fun. I mean, being stressed out over the trains and stuff on a trip to Toronto is completely natural. Being stressed out because you can’t eat what and when you want is not. So maybe try so different cuisines, make some day trips… stuff like that.
4 Aaron on Tue, Mar 20th 2007 1:36 pm
I definitely spend the majority of my summers doing my own thing. I do make it out to the beach sometimes though, and I’ve planned to make a few visits to far-off friends for this summer, too.
I’d say, though, that most of my anxiety is due to my fear of getting a migraine. They spring up whenever they want, and the further I get from a place where I can sleep comfortably in darkness for three to five hours, the more anxious I get. Eating and drinking on a strict schedule, I believe, helps to prevent them. Or at least makes me feel like I’ve some kind of control over them. Luckily, it seems that if I just tranquillize myself with enough Gravol, I can sleep through the painful part.
5 :( on Fri, Oct 5th 2007 9:00 am
Why does that article make me feel like a dick? I’m a proud extrovert, but I believe if someone came to me and explained they are an introvert and needed space I would happily understand. I don’t feel I am clueless to introverts as this article implies, but I am just unaware of who is an introvert. If 25 percent of the whole population are introverts, I would say most of my life I have grown up around extroverts. I can’t sit down and start to study the habbits of all the people in my life and guess if they are introverts or extroverts, now knowing how to treat them. But a simple conversation on your (assuming the person I am talking to is an introvert), needs will help me understand more about you and help me know what to do in certain situations. This is the first time I have ever heard these words and I am positive I have encountered an introvert and not knowing it, have pushed that person to the extreme. Thinking back I realized my ex was an intovert, for 2 and a half years almost EVERY fight came from him wanting to be alone. I never understood it, but neither did he, therefore we could never fix the problem and more fights would arise. I thought he didn’t want to see me, or be around me and I was hurt. If he had explained to me how he had felt, I think the relationship could have lasted longer. But this is why we learn from our mistakes. I think I am an understanding person who can comprehend in their head what an introvert is. Being generlized in the article has made be some what upset, because there is no faith in us extroverts on how to deal with an introvert. So we arn’t as smart and we ask questions on why someone is quiet, but that is only because I don’t know what its like to be an introvert. Introverts can read Extroverts, but Extroverts can’t read Introverts. I would no longer liked to be generlized and thought to be so easily read. I am who I am, and that person is complicated just as much as an introvert. Being generlized and predicting what I might do is offensive to me. I have needs as well, and there should be thoughts on how to take care of your extrovert. Just because I am 75% of this population, does not mean i’ve been taken care of, or poeple understand me. I will try my hardest if you try yours. I love you, my introvert.
6 K on Sat, Nov 17th 2007 10:42 am
I’ve got to agree with John D, the author’s lack of self recognition of his own unjustified and unsupported arrogance was amazing. I’ve seen so many articles where introverts cherry pick there statistics to prove their own superiority.
You folks don’t corner the market on intelligence, but frequently skirt the edges of autism — which contrary to popular myth is not associated with high intelligence. For goodness sake, I’m an extrovert with a philosophy degree and a high IQ. You guys seriously seem to think that just because people are capable of small talk, they aren’t capable of anything else. Get over yourselves and look out at the world. That’s where you’ll really learn something.
Recognizing your own deficiencies rather than trumping up false superiority (and then denying this) is probably your best first step.